


Panic at the Ark

by Copperace



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Elite Trine, Fluff and Crack, Implied Sexual Content, Invincibility, Multi, Pranks, Reading, Seeker Trines, Seekers, Skywarp is awesome, Skywarp is bored and the Autobots regret it, Skywarp raising hell, Starscream and Thundercracker have no idea what their idiot does all day, TC writes fan fiction, Transformers Spark Bonds, havoc - Freeform, poor Rodimus, trinebonds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:02:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28417311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Copperace/pseuds/Copperace
Summary: With both of his trinemates being very boring, Skywarp sets forth to find himself some entertainment and crashes a party on the Ark.
Relationships: S - Relationship, Skywarp/Starscream/Thundercracker (Transformers)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 59





	Panic at the Ark

Skywarp was not deterred at all by the admittedly juvenile KEEP OUT OR DIE sign which Starscream had moodily spray painted on the door of his lab in a fit of frustration several devavorns previous. Thundercracker was not entirely sure why their usually so intelligent trineleader had ever believed that the sign would help given that their beloved resident brat was immune to any of Starscream's threats of death. No matter how intensely furious Skywarp made Starscream, at the end of the orn he was still their trinemate, and if Starscream killed him then they'd suffer severe spark damage - not to mention the trouble they'd have afterwards trying to find a replacement. Besides, Starscream loved Skywarp (even if occasionally several vorns went by with Starscream largely just screaming at Skywarp to slag off rather than conversing with him like a decent trinemate,) so unlike every other Cybertronian in existence (with the exception of Thundercracker himself,) Skywarp was in no danger.

The sign was also dumb because Skywarp was a teleporter, and despite Starscream having shrieked himself hoarse once or twice telling the miscreant to avoid his lab, Skywarp was not of the opinion that Starscream actually meant what he said. Thundercracker, who personally appreciated quiet for the purposes of reading and writing tales of fantasy (which Starscream sneeringly called 'escapism,') was welcome in Starscream's lab. Thus, Starscream's threat sign did not apply to Thundercracker at all, so whenever Skywarp was elsewhere, Thundercracker often spent long afternoons curled up in the sagging armchair which he had placed in the most out-of-the-way corner of the laboratory long ago. It was pleasant to sit there, occasionally looking up from whichever novel he was reading to admire the way that the overhead lighting made Starscream's flawless plating gleam.

But when Skywarp was home Thundercracker sat in their living area - a perk which Starscream's rank had afforded them was an actual apartment rather than just a shabby dorm room on the Nemesis - and attempted to keep Skywarp from bothering the slag out of their eternally-occupied trineleader.

Scrolling slowly through his current book file on his datapad ( _Swollen Sparks, Great Skies by Inkdream_ ,) Thundercracker paused as there was a squeaking hiss sound. Unsurprisingly, across the room at his desk (which was really just a depository for random scrap since Skywarp never did anything remotely desk-like,) Skywarp was using one thruster to make his long-suffering office chair spin. Deciding that his knees were probably in danger should Skywarp decide to go shooting across the room like he often did, Thundercracker tucked his legs up and turned his gaze back to his beloved romance novel. He was on his eightieth reread now, but his long held tradition demanded that he read it again, because the author Inkdream was long dead and the only way that Thundercracker was ever getting a sequel was if he wrote it himself (which he had - three different versions, in fact, all of which Starscream had made stupid fake gagging sounds at.)

"I'm _bored_!" announced Skywarp, to Thundercracker's tremendous unsurprise, because Skywarp was always bored. He looked up anyway, because he was a good trinemate, and Skywarp actually stopped spinning to look back at him, contemplating. A slight head cock, then naughty crimson optics flickered predictably to the firmly shut lab door and Thundercracker begrudgingly put down his datapad.

"Skywarp, why don't you come read with me?" suggested Thundercracker hopefully. He liked reading aloud and Skywarp was a really good cuddler whenever he held still long enough for it.

Skywarp gave him an impossible-to-understand look of pretend nausea. "No, your books are fragging gross, they're full of kissing and slag."

"What's gross about kissing?" frowned Thundercracker. "We kiss all the -"

"TC," interrupted Skywarp with an impatient huff, "that's different. You're like my _conjunx_ -"

It was Thundercracker's turn to be disgusted, "Do not debase Star or I with that grounder term; you need to stop spending so much time with Rumble and Frenzy - they're idiots."

" _Fine_ , trinemates, you're my trinemates," grumbled Skywarp, offended. "Also Rumble and Frenzy aren't dumb, they have good ideas sometimes! Just last decaorn we got some high grade off of Swindle -"

"Please don't finish that sentence, Warp; you know that Star told you to stay away from Swindle," groaned Thundercracker.

"I wouldn't have to resort to spending time with Rumble, Frenzy and Swindle if Star were more available, TC," grumped Skywarp.

"I'm available right now," Thundercracker pointed out, "come here and I'll read -"

"That's all you ever do," moaned Skywarp. He made an infuriated sound and looked at Starscream's lab again, "I wish Star wasn't so busy."

"Warp, you know that it's because of his rank that we have all this," frowned Thundercracker, gesturing with a wing to indicate their lovely apartment. They actually had a separate berthroom, and a washrack - all the lower ranked cannon fodder had to use gross public washracks! "Thanks to him we don't have to spend our orns cleaning too; would you rather be cleaning?" He already knew that Skywarp hated cleaning, not to mention menial labour of any kind.

"No," sulked Skywarp, gazing unhappily at Starscream's lab door. Thundercracker opened his mouth to warn him off, only to shut it as Skywarp dematerialized. Failing to hear any furious cursing or exclamations promising bodily harm from the lab, Thundercracker shrugged and went back to his reading.Obviously Skywarp had thought of a better way of entertaining himself; whatever it was, they'd hear about it later - it was probably pushing Barricade down a staircase again, or leaving suggestive graffiti in a turbolift. If they were lucky, he might even use industrial bonding agent to cement Motormaster's servo to his aft again.

The point was, it wasn't Thundercracker's problem. Skywarp's teleporting made him nigh invincible, so whatever wrath he incurred he'd be able to escape from it just fine and Starscream would have a lovely excuse to null ray whomever Skywarp had annoyed in the face. He'd appreciate that.

* * *

"I fail to see why Optimus left you in charge," monotoned Ultra Magnus, who was nearly as boring as Prowl, but who at least _wasn't_ Prowl and who could at least be trusted not to have an explosive conniption if, say, some mecha skipped their shifts just once to have some well earned fun. Prowl was so much worse but thankfully, Rodimus didn't have to think about him for once. He didn't have to think about Ironhide, Jazz, Perceptor, Blaster, Ratchet or that snooty slagheap Mirage either, because all of them were mercifully far away with the Prime on a boring political mission. Since the lack-of-fun patrol was gone, the _Ark_ was ripe for the best party that they had had in vorns, a party which not even Red Alert could ruin because Sideswipe had already fixed it so that all the paranoid mech could see was looped recordings of the room which they planned to use on his security monitors. It had been at least half a vorn since anyone had seen the slightest speck of Decepticon armour anyway, so there was no danger.

"'cus I'm awesome," grinned Rodimus, which was the very height of true. He smirked at the in-progress decorating of the mess hall before them and rubbed his servos together enthusiastically, "It's been slagging vorns since we had a proper good time, Magnus, so we're gonna have a good time!"

"I fail to see how a party constitutes following orders -" complained Ultra Magnus.   


"It boosts morale! Happy mecha can work harder and stuff!" beamed Rodimus. "Plus, it'll all be cleaned up before the brass comes back, so don't worry about a single thing, Magnus. This nebula we're in is perfectly safe, the _Ark_ is well hidden, so it's a great time to hang loose!"

Ultra Magnus muttered something disagreeable yet he did not complain about helping with the party decorations. They weren't _really_ proper decorations, because it had been a slagging long time since anyone had seen that kind of thing, but they were a good effort that got the point across. Rodimus and his buddies had been working on them for all of a decaorn in anticipation, making them out of random scrap laying around the flagship, because recycling was good, right? Really, anything shiny was fair game and some of the decorations were actually quite pretty, refracting light in lovely rainbow colours.

Bass burst out across the floor and Rodimus shared a thumbs up with Sideswipe, who always had great taste in music. Well, maybe not as good as Blaster, but still pretty good, and honestly any music was good when it was loud enough. It also worked like a siren song to the rest of the crew so that long before Rodimus was done decorating there were already plenty of mecha grooving to the beat. The only mech who looked remotely unhappy (apart from the still muttering Magnus,) was Sunstreaker, but Sunstreaker was always sort of pissy, so nobody card. (Honestly, pissy was probably Sunstreaker's version of happy.)

"Yeah! Best party ever, Roddy!" cried Bumblebee as he moonwalked by Rodimus. Pretty much the entire crew had shown up now and Rodimus knew smugly that already the party was a resounding success. Multicoloured lights were flashing from spotlights, glittering off of the foil decorations and the whole place reeked of the slag high grade which Sideswipe brewed. It was a stench of triumph, of a proper party, which _Rodimus_ had made happen.   


"Frag yeah, Bee!" smirked Rodimus, pumping a fist. "Magnus, isn't this great? This is the best fraggin' party in centravorns! Mecha'll be talking about this night for ages!"

Ultra Magnus made a resigned sound which Rodimus barely heard over the pounding music, but which he knew instinctively was agreement.

"This is so slagging awesome," declared Rodimus, his smile fading for a klik as he saw Inferno coming towards him, the mech looking... concerned? Rodimus jumped off of the table which he had been occupying, calling, "Inferno, my mech! Gonna join in? What's up?"

Inferno looked around at the crowded hall, "You might wanna break this up, Roddy, Red thinks he saw something suspicious on one of the monitors."

Rodimus giggled, "Haha, it's probably just Sideswipe!"

"It was black," disagreed Inferno worriedly. "You know I'm not paranoid like Red is, Rodimus; I saw it too and there just aren't many Autobots who're black."

"Probly just a prank Sides set up to mess with Red," dismissed Rodimus.

"I dunno, Roddy," fidgeted Inferno.

"I'm definitely right; c'mon, have a cube of high grade and loosen up," encouraged Rodimus.

Inferno shook his helm, "I gotta go back to Red, he's already freaking out a bit and I don't want him to glitch with Ratchet off the ship. Please just think about it? Please? It could be Ravage, Roddy!"

"Pfft, nobody's seen that stupid glitch in vorns, he's probly dead by now for all we know!" said Rodimus but Inferno failed to look at all convinced. He left and the party seemed oddly hollow after that. Being in command and stuff, Rodimus had pledged to stay sober, so he couldn't even get a charge like everyone else (except Magnus,) to make the party fantastic again. He couldn't even feel happy from dancing, or stuffing his intake with rust sticks. In the end, he wandered out, into the hallway where it was quiet, and immediately blinked.

Nearly floor to ceiling in scale was a bewilderingly massive, sickeningly detailed graffiti of an erect spike rendered in excessively glittering neon pink paint.

"Who did that?" snickered a very overcharged minicon, stumbling past Rodimus into the hallway and promptly puking a stride short of a trash receptacle. (Rodimus felt a feeling resembling guilt go uncomfortably up a notch, especially as the enebriated minicon immediately passed out on the floor.)

Rodimus returned his gaze to the lewd graffiti, trying to think of who he knew who drew spikes that way, yet all his processor did was blank. He scratched the back of his helm, shrugged, and determined that the graffiti (along with the snoring minicon) could probably be dealt with later by someone far less important than himself. Deciding that a trip to the washracks was a good idea to clear his helm before going to check in on Red Alert, Rodimus smiled and made for the lift. He didn't notice anything as he stepped inside the elevator at first; he pressed the button for his residential floor the exact same as usual, but something above him drew his attention. Frowning, Rodimus looked up, and felt his spark flicker at the sight of five long, dragging claw marks which absolutely had not been there a few joors before.

Rodimus couldn't think of anyone apart from the dinobots and Sky Lynx who had claws like that - all of whom were away with the brass.

::Hey, Inferno?:: queried Rodimus over comm as he stopped the lift and pressed the button to return it to the mess hall.

::Yeah, Rodimus?:: asked Inferno, sounding distinctly wary.

Rodimus swallowed, ::I think Red mighta been on point about something odd happening. I'm gonna go break up the party like you suggested.::

::What did you see?:: asked Inferno.

Rodimus gave the claw marks another long, nervous look, deciding, ::Not sure you wanna know.::

* * *

Thundercracker's glorious novel had just finished its juicy romantic crescendo and he was soaking up the denouement, devouring every delectable glyph. His lower abdomen was feeling rather warm from some of the steamy descriptions and he hugged a couch cushion tight, delighted, because finally at last the protagonists were about to -

"Hey, TC, where'd Warp go?"

Thundercracker flinched and looked around in a panic at Starscream, who was peering out of his lab suspiciously. He caught Thundercracker looking at him and narrowed his eyes, demanding, "You're not reading that revolting novel of yours again, are you?"

"Nope!" chirped Thundercracker much too quickly.

"Ew. Don't you dare self service on our couch you glitch," grimaced Starscream. "Do you know where Warp went? It's too slagging quiet in here."

"I don't know, he teleported out a few joors ago," said Thundercracker, slightly offended that Starscream had called him a glitch.

"Funny; usually I'd've had a comm complaining about him by now," mused Starscream. He vanished back into his lab, declaring as the door began to shut in his wake, "He better be home on time for dinner."

"I'm sure he will be, Star," said Thundercracker. "Love you."

"I'd ask you to keep me company but not when you're reading that scrap," huffed Starscream and because he never said it aloud, his return endearment flowed through their bond instead, making Thundercracker smile, forgiving him. The lab door clicked shut and Thundercracker eyed the entrance door of their apartment; it really was actually a bit odd that there'd been no sign of Skywarp.

"Must be some elaborate prank," shrugged Thundercracker, and he buried himself back in glorious romantic fantasy.

* * *

The thudding beat which met Rodimus as he stepped back into the mess hall nearly knocked him off of his pedes. Somehow while he had been gone Sideswipe had found a way to jack up the volume even further, making it completely impossible for anyone to hear anyone else. To make matters worse, there was now a surprisingly substantial quantity of sticky spilled energon all over the floor and there was a line of mecha heaped against the far wall, overcharged beyond comprehension. Sensing that he needed Ultra Magnus' assistance with breaking the party up (judging by the way a drunken Cliffjumper was screaming very deafly at a tipsy, confused looking Streetwise,) Rodimus precariously made his way through the audial-killing commotion and it took him several circuits of the room to realize that his large comrade was no longer there.

An attempt to comm Magnus was met with only static, so Rodimus picked his way back over to Sideswipe who was nodding enthusiastically to the music as he scrolled through the datapad feeding the speakers for the next few songs. Sideswipe did not notice Rodimus (several empty cubes of high grade by his left servo implied that the frontliner was more than a little drunk,) but a clearly sober Sunstreaker leaning against the wall behind Sideswipe nodded to Rodimus.

::Hey Sunstreaker, can you get Sides to cut the music? Looks like there might be a situation and I can't find Mags, seems odd that he left,:: explained Rodimus over comm. (There was no point in attempting to actually speak.)

Sunstreaker frowned (harder than usual,) ::What do you mean by a 'situation?'::

::Something odd is happening,:: said Rodimus. He peered into the crowd, searching again for Ultra Magnus. ::Someone graffitied the wall just outside the mess and I just found claw marks on the ceiling of the lift down the hall.::

::Probably just some overcharged idio-::

Still looking for a blue helm, Rodimus twitched as he felt an odd puff of air against his spoiler and looked back at Sunstreaker, wondering what had cut his speech off, only to see an empty wall where the frontliner had just been standing. ::Sunstreaker?::

There was no sign of him, no matter where he looked - it was as if Sunstreaker had completely vanished off of the ship. He turned to address Sideswipe after visually searching the crowd and saw only a suddenly empty chair. Suddenly very unnerved, Rodimus reached to pause the music playing off of Sideswipe's datapad and jerked his servo back as someone else grabbed it first, only to vanish before Rodimus could see who it belonged to. There was a hitch in the music, then it started playing again as if it had never been interrupted, only to suddenly stop, the room going dead silent except for Cliffjumper's drunken shouting and the groaning of several mecha who had definitely had far too much to drink.

"Oi, Roddy, what's the meaning of this?! We're tryna party here!" shouted Air Raid.

"Yeah, c'mon, turn the music back on!" shouted Swerve. "That song was good!"

Rodimus opened his mouth to explain, only to be cut off by what was unmistakably the Decepticon Anthem suddenly roaring out of the speakers. Mecha all over the room frowned, others began to shout again, clearly thinking it a bad prank, then just as Rodimus was diving to pull the speakers' power packs to turn off the irritatingly heroic sounding enemy theme song the lights suddenly shut off, dumping them into pitch blackness. Fumbling around in the dark frantically, Rodimus managed to shut off the speakers, only to hear the song still playing, tinny, from what seriously sounded like a vent in the ceiling.

"What the frag is going on?" complained Rodimus under his breath as mecha all around the room shouted about how the joke wasn't funny anymore, Cliffjumper seeming to have a full on conniption across the room even as other mecha sensibly turned their headlights on. Rodimus started wading through the crowd towards the door, an uneasy shiver going up his spinal strut as he thought he heard a clatter inside of the ceiling above them. ::Hey, Inferno, it's Rodimus, we just lost the lights in the mess for some reason; also can you tell me where Mags went? I can't find him anywhere.::

::Hold on, Roddy, I'll check; have you managed to break up the party yet?:: asked Inferno.

Rodimus stopped by the door and raised his voice, "Fun's over, mecha! Just got news that Commander Prowl's coming back early!"

At the dreaded mention of Prowl mecha all over the room started either hurrying for the exit or smuggling cubes of high grade into their subspaces. A few charitable individuals began quickly pulling down party decorations and packing them away but most chose to flee. Rodimus ex-vented in relief, confirming, ::Party's over, Inferno.::

::Sweet - okay, weird, um, about Ultra Magnus - looks like he's in the morgue for some reason? I don't understand it; I should elaborate that by 'in the morgue' I mean that he's in the morgue, like in one of those storage cupboards for dead frames,:: said Inferno, sounding exactly as baffled as Rodimus. ::He's alive, don't worry.::

::But... the morgue is on the other side of the ship, it'd take way longer than it has been since I last saw him to get there and why would he go onto one of those cupboard things? Inferno, this isn't making sens-::

_::- AND 'TIL ALL ARE FREE TO LIVE HAPPILY WE SHALL FOLLOW MEGATRONNN! -::_

At the garish Decepticon theme song abruptly blasting out from the ship-wide announcement system Rodimus had no choice but to turn off his audials, remarking to Inferno, ::That is really annoying, do you have any idea who is doing that?::

::Um, no, we don't, but do you know why Sunstreaker and Sideswipe went outside the ship? Red just saw them float by the port-side aft thruster security array,:: complained Inferno. ::They kinda look like they need help...::

Rodimus blinked in surprise, ::Uh wow. No. I...::

::Rodimus?:: asked Inferno rather nervously.

::That... that isn't possible,:: summed up Rodimus. ::Inferno, they were just in here like three kliks ago, that isn't enough time for them to get to an airlock even if Sides wasn't overcharged and why -"

Across the room there was a flash of purple, then a sudden suppressive silence settled despite the din of the Decepticon theme song, interrupted by Streetwise wondering on a broad channel, ::Hey, Cliff, where'd ya go, bud?::

A tightness wrapped around Rodimus' spark as he realized that there was an explanation for what was happening after all.

* * *

Thundercracker gazed forlornly at his beautiful novel; once again, he was done reading it, and all he had to follow it was his own fan fiction. He would never have the author's excellent version of what had happened next - he would never know whether Foglight had trined the beautiful Softclaw. (Of course, in his self-written sequels they had, but that wasn't the same.) It made his spark feel heavy and he looked morosely around for a distraction but the common room of their quarters was peacefully desolate. His wings drooped and he shuttered his optics, feeling for his own trinemates in their bond, which for some reason never felt as beautiful as described in books. Finding both Starscream and Skywarp deeply focused on whatever they were doing, ignoring him, he abandoned the couch for their nest, snuggling lonely amongst their hoarded bedding.

Wondering vaguely what was managing to enrapture Skywarp so, (because usually only combat did that for his trinemate,) Thundercracker curled up, deciding to recharge until dinner.

* * *

:: _DECEPTICON_!:: shrieked Red Alert over the ship wide battle comm channel, proving Rodimus right that it had been a mistake to tell him about their visitor as mecha all around them shouted, causing the connection to fritz. It had been so long since any Autobot had encountered the enemy; usually it would have been exciting to see a 'con, but it wasn't just any 'con loose on their ship - it was slagging _Skywarp_ , one of Megatron's best elite seekers. The fragger was trined with Air Commander Starscream, Megatron's deadliest lieutenant, and they did not have a hope in the Pit of catching him because Skywarp (whom the brass had long thought dramatically under-utilized by Ol' Buckethelm,) could _teleport_ , an ability which even the Autobots' greatest scientists had never found a counter to. All they could do was try to get in a lucky shot - stun the slagger then keep him in stasis until they figured out what to do with him.

::Stun only! Incapacitate him, don't kill, we need to know where the _Nemesis_ is; it must be nearby!:: yelled Rodimus, pulling his blaster from his subspace and adjusting it. ::Stun him and get him to the medical bay, First Aid will put him into full stasis there!::

A mixed up chorus of confirmation came back at him, mecha rushing after their immediate commanding officers. Seeing mecha still covering their audials and wincing, Rodimus kept his hearing muted as he ran towards the bridge with Bumblebee and Trailbreaker. Bursting through the doors, he was was completely unprepared for the sight of the command room, completely empty except for the very seeker whom they were looking for spray painting a huge Decepticon brand in an optic-burning neon purple all over the ceiling. The crewmecha whom Rodimus had left in control of the bridge were outside the viewscreen, flailing about helplessly on the interstellar void, incapable of reaching the surface of the _Ark_. Skywarp's wings perked and without so much as looking back at them in a purple flash he was gone with only his obnoxious spray painted tag left to prove that he had been there.

A datapad sat next to the microphone for the PA system and seeing that a media app was open, Rodimus triumphantly tapped the pause button, at last muting the Decepticon Anthem, announcing, ::Unmute your audials 'cus we can talk again, mecha!::

"Thanks, Roddy," vented Trailbreaker.

"Frag, it's gonna take forever to get rid of that," moaned Bumblebee, gazing at the graffiti above them. "Prowl's gonna kill us."

"How's Skywarp even that good with a spray can?" wondered Trailbreaker.

"Maybe he's got a lotta time on his servos," shrugged Bumblebee, peering out the viewscreen where mecha waved frantically at them for attention. "Sucks to be them."

::Silverbolt, there're mecha in need of your help outside the ship, please assist,:: ordered Rodimus, staring at his comrades outside too. "Yeah, no kidding." Nobody liked floating in outer space without a tether - they had all had to do spacewalks for ship maintenance and very few mecha actually liked it. Prowl usually used it as a punishment.

::Can't, sir,:: returned Silverbolt immediately.

Rodimus stiffened, ::...why?::

::Skywarp jammed the hangar controls as soon as we got here a klik ago and we can't get out,:: said Silverbolt sheepishly. ::Did something to the lift, too.::

::Primus, he's slagging everywhere,:: groaned Rodimus as he attempted to think. How could they possibly catch a mech capable of instantaneous departure? He grimaced, ::Work on getting outside, Silverbolt, we'll work on catching the purple glitch.::

::Good luck,:: said Silverbolt with a sound suspiciously derisive, like a snort.

Rodimus valiantly ignored the gestalt commander's lack of faith, "Okay - we've fought this slagger before, what do we know about him 'sides the teleporting thing?"

"Seekers're almost always found in threes; if Skywarp is here then Screamer and Cracker probably are too," noted Tralbreaker morbidly.

"Been no sign of them though," reasoned Bumblebee. "Maybe we're lucky and it's just Skywarp."

"Why is he here though? What's he trying to steal? I bet he's trying to steal something - weapons or energon," decided Rodimus.

"Oh, definitely!" exclaimed Bumblebee and Rodimus swiftly dispatched mecha to relevant locations on the ship, pinging the bridge crew outside with reassurance that Silverbolt was trying to reach them before racing off for the security centre. Skywarp had to have some kind of plan masterminded by his trineleader or Megatron and Rodimus felt confident that they would figure it out quickly.

"Let's get to the security centre, maybe we can get a lead there," said Rodimus, comming Inferno, ::Coming your way, Inferno! Any chance you have a way of cracking Prowl's office door open so that we can dig up Skywarp's intelligence file? I feel like s'more intel'd be helpful in catching the glitch.::

::Uhh, sure, he should forgive us later given the circumstances- _TSSSSSSS_ ::

At hearing the static, Rodimus hastily cut the connection, yelping as he broke into a sprint, "Hurry, Skywarp just got Inferno!"

"Slag!"

Consciously slowing down as they reached the door outside the security centre to avoid spooking Red Alert, they stepped inside to see Red Alert plastered against the opposite wall with predictably no sign of Inferno. Red Alert's vents were heaving, energy crackling between his sensor horns, his optics white with stress and Trailbreaker immediately had to disarm him as the overwrought security officer promptly tried to shoot at them.

"Red! RED! It's just us; what happened?" asked Rodimus as the frantic looking mech cowered away from them. Belatedly, Rodimus noticed another obnoxious spray painted Decepticon brand dripping lurid purple from Red Alert's chest. There was a thick smell of melted plastic and smoke, every security monitor but one seemingly dead, blasted by laserfire, the one which still functioned uselessly showing a view of the corridor immediately outside the room.

"W-w-what do you _think_ ha-happened?!" hyperventilated Red Alert. "SKYWARP WAS HERE!"

"Shhh, Red, it's okay now! We're here!" urged Bumblebee.

"Yeah, we're going to get you to First Aid right away," promised Rodimus hurriedly.

"First Aid's outside along with Inferno!" shrieked Red Alert. "We're next, you know! He's gonna come for us and take us - _AAAAAHHH_!"

Rodimus whirled to see what was so distressing and blinked at the sight of Skywarp standing casually by the door, blocking their exit, the seeker commenting in his crisp Vosian accent, "S'up."

"Hey," said Rodimus cautiously as Bumblebee gave a nervous little wave, "What're you doing on our ship?"

The seeker, to their shock, shrugged, "Bored; Starscream's busy and TC's being lame, reading his dumb novels, so I decided to find some fun here 'cus it gets dull pranking Motormaster all the time."

Prank. Rodimus stared at him in horror - was this all just the seeker _playing_ with them? The idea was so mortifying that he was speechless, struck dumb by how thoroughly everyone had always underestimated this Primus-damned seeker who apparently fancied himself a casual jaunt over to the _Ark_ to render their entire hapless crew his playthings.

"Does - does M-Megatron know where you are?!" stammered Trailbreaker as Skywarp drew a rag from his subspace and commenced wiping off what looked disturbingly like grease from his black servos, the colour of his plating having hidden it.

"I dunno," said Skywarp, finishing cleansing his hands and smiling at them all brightly. "Where's the Praxian, the red old geezer and your dumb Prime? I was looking forwards to messin' with 'em."

"Out," said Rodimus, processor racing to come up with a plan.

"I guess that happens," mused Skywarp, subspacing his cloth again then cocking his helm as there was a very loud, very alarming _clunk_ from the direction of the _Ark's_ hyperdrive. He grinned at them wickedly, "Whoops!"

"What did you do -" Rodimus attempted to demand but it was too late as right in front of him, Skywarp vanished. Before he could begin to wonder where he had gone he heard Red Alert cry out again, Rodimus' vision suddenly filling with nothing but purple, then a gravity-free nothing, stars twinkling prettily in the reddish velvet black of the nebula which they had camped the _Ark_ in.

He tried to swear but with no air to carry sound he didn't even have the satisfaction of hearing his own curse. Seeing First Aid close by, but thoroughly unable to reach him, Rodimus could only try to face the motionless _Ark_ , only able to look at it, and wait for Silverbolt to bust out. Sometime later, (in which Rodimus grew bored of contemplating the supreme deep slag they would be in as soon as Prowl got back,) he saw a purple flash near the nose of the _Ark_. Skywarp appeared, barely visible against the stars, Rodimus perking up because maybe he could salvage the situation slightly by watching what direction the glitch flew off in. He watched eagerly as the seeker transformed then sped away, only to vanish in another violet starburst as if he had never been there.

Barely an instance later Sky Lynx dropped out of hyperspace and Rodimus knew that he was well and truly slagged.

* * *

"Heyyy, TC," purred a loving voice, Thundercracker ruffling his plating as he caught a beloved teek of affection and leaning into his trinemate's skilled servos as Skywarp favoured his wings with scritches. Thundecracker rolled over, squirming close needily, and Skywarp hugged him, chirping, "Missed me? I had fun this orn."

"What'd you do?" trilled Thundercracker curiously, wrinkling his olfactory sensor then drawing away in offence as he smelled an awful taint like destruction marring Skywarp's usual smell of the good polish which Starscream insisted that they all use, spray paint, candied iron wafers and the sweet musk ofwell maintained seeker. "What is that _smell_?"

"Yes, what is that stench, Skywarp?" demanded Starscream as he stalked into the room. "You stink, Warp; get off the berth, there's no way I am permitting you anything until after you've washed."

Skywarp instantly teleported to Starscream's side, cheekily leering, "You gonna help me wash, Screamer?"

"Not if you call me _that_ ," hissed Starscream, recoiling as Thundercracker sat up with a grin, relieved to be united again with his full trine. Skywarp leaned closer until Starscream snarled, then ran with an annoyed squeak into their personal wash rack, Skywarp and Thundercracker charging gleefully after him. They grabbed their trineleader between them, hugging him under the soothing stream of hot solvent and gladly attended to their preening until neither trine third nor leader smelled bad anymore, an alkaline hint of chemicals having clung to Starscream's plating from his orn in his lab. Only once they were all again gleaming did they pile back into their nest, snuggling companionably close so that Thundercracker forgot about his novels, relishing his lovely reality instead. It was a good reality of warm, clean plating, soft pants, claws which knew how to tease just right and sparks which trilled from their incredible closeness.

"So where were you all orn, Skywarp?" grunted Starscream sleepily after a while.

"Went for a fly," chirped Skywarp.

"Glad you finally did something productive with your time," said Starscream, a trickle of pride flickering through their bond.

"Let's fly as trine tomorrow," suggested Thundercracker hopefully.

"Yeah! I know just where to go!" brightened Skywarp. "You'll love it!"

"Ungh, I could use a break from my lab," agreed Starscream.

That night they dreamed satisfyingly together as they often did with their trinebond newly strengthened from merging and Thundercracker awoke abruptly, wondering about the dream's subject.

It had been a very long time since anyone had seen the _Ark_ , after all.

**Author's Note:**

> The next day there was a battle and Skywarp got in slag for not telling his faction about the Ark sooner.
> 
> Hey guys! Thank you for reading, I'm sorry for the long delay in updates on A Change of Spark. I've been crazy busy and it was a struggle just getting this little story done, but I felt like I owed you guys at least something! So, happy holidays, and here's hoping that next year is much better. Thank you all so much for your comments, and again for reading my silly stories, I appreciate it. <3
> 
> -Copper


End file.
